Counselling 4 EssexSouthend On Sea

About Samantha Lee. Recent Portrait (old)

About Me

Starting to understand myself started with my counselling journey 10 years ago, when after an enjoyable career in London living the life of a true City Girl, redundancy led me to review my life.

Work had been great – It was busy and stressful with a lot of responsibility, but I had always felt in control and confident in my role. My personal life, however, was a completely different story. I was one of those people who had got really good at putting on a front to family and friends, pretending that everything was fine, but the reality was that I was often miserable and lonely.

Most people thought that I was this confident woman who was happy and in control, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Why did they think that? Because I pretended I was all of those things and didn’t tell them about the real thoughts that were going on inside my head.

I'd experienced anxiety and panic attacks in my early 20's as well as a major bereavement where grief overtook my life for a long time. I ended a long term relationship at the start of my 30's and then thought it would be a great idea to go straight into the next one without giving myself a chance to get over all the different aspects of loss and change that the end of a relationship can bring.

In my later 30’s, I became a Mum but unsurprisingly, the relationship with my daughter’s Dad didn’t work out, so I found myself a single mum at the age of 41. Here I was, an intelligent woman who just seemed to be making some really bad life choices when it came to relationships, and I would constantly find myself wondering why it all kept going "tits up" for use of a better term! I was desperate for things to change and made the decision to begin my counselling training.

Through my own therapy, I began to understand where my anxiety came from, why I never seemed to feel good enough about myself compared to other people and how beliefs I’d built up about myself in childhood had been unconsciously dragged into my adult life and were replaying in the background causing the unhappiness and bad choices.

Being able to have that place each week where I could stop pretending that I was ok and instead, say how I was really feeling was such a game changer. Being able to stop covering up the real me with my “Happy Mask” was such a relief. It’s meant that over time, I’ve stopped being so critical of myself for not being a certain way. I really like who I am these days because it’s the real me, not a fake version. I don’t try to be something I’m not and if people don’t like that, then they are not my kind of people and that’s ok. My relationships are far healthier, as is my lifestyle.

I’m proof that if you can finally be brave enough to stop pretending you’re ok, to finally take off that mask and be honest about your inner struggles, then you can move into a far more contented future. You can forgive yourself for not being perfect and you can learn to love the person you’ve become.


Take a look at my Facebook Page for inspirational quotes, beautiful photographs and relevant memes.

"Samantha helped me with things that I didn't realise I needed help with. She helped me express feelings I had been suppressing for a very long time and had me talking about things before I realised I was talking about them. After a number of sessions I began to feel a great weight had been lifted. I had always had a problem expressing myself but Sam got me to really open up and I now find it so much easier to talk about things with the people closest to me. My therapy hasn't been a "cure" for the main issue I was having, but Sam has helped me to deal with it so much better. Should I need counselling in the future, I will not hesitate to call Sam and I can never thank her enough for how she has helped me."
Stuart, 50


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